The other day, while Jaz was at 'kindy', Kayde and I decided to go wedding dress shopping. I had previously been into a bridal shop where there had been many dresses that had caught my eye and the shop assistant had been particularly nice (when I had told her I needed to lose weight before trying anything on she had insisted I try some on to get a feel for colour and style and to just enjoy part of the experience, insisting she would have a number of beautiful dresses in my size). I had made a note to return when I had a chance.
Upon my return there was a different assistant working who, well, didn't seem overly impressed that I had interrupted her day by entering the boutique. I was busy trying to break through her icy exterior (I just see this as a challenge and break them down with niceness and chit chat) when Kayde began crying. He was wanting a feed, I was feeling a bit sweaty and gross after walking to the shop in the midday sun and thought that to sit and feed Kayde would settle him down and give me a chance to regain some composure so that I could feel comfortable trying on some dresses.
Out of courtesy I asked the shop assistant if she would mind if I fed my baby so that I could try some dresses on in peace. To my surprise, she really hesitated. She rolled her eyes at me and said 'well, I suppose, but only as long as no other customers come in, it's not that I really mind (I could tell she did though) but I wouldn't want to upset any other customers (never mind upsetting the one that was here!!!).' At this point I was a little taken aback but not overly offended, I said quite simply that I hadn't really come across anyone who seemed overly concerned and that most of the people who seemed uncomfortable were quite young. To this she replied 'well not many people really breast feed anymore you know?' accompanied with a look that screamed distaste. Was she serious??? It's not like I was asking HER to feed my baby!!! I just wished I could remember a decent come back but right at that moment but they eluded me.
Mind you I am quite proud of what I did anyway but I'll save that for later. For now, I will offer up what I wish I had right on the tip of my tongue at the time - the top 5 comebacks I have found, heard or made up, in response to negativity about breastfeeding, in no particular order:
1. (to the disapproving onlooker) 'Oh, I'm sorry, how rude of me, would you like some?' - said while offering your spare...
2. When asked why an older breastfed bub doesn't just have cows milk - 'My baby prefers my milk to calf milk'
3. General - 'Oh, don't worry, it's just until I learn to cook'
4. in response to being asked how long you plan on 'feeding' for? 'Oh, just the next 10 minutes or so'
5. My personal favourite doesn't need words, just a quick well aimed squirt!!!!
Now, I would like to say one more thing, I am not a 'Boob Nazi'. Mothers all around the world do their best for their baby depending on their own circumstances, not everyone can breastfeed and as much as I love it and value the time spent feeding my babies, I do not think any less of Mums who do not breastfeed, so long as they leave me to do what I do. I do despise people making things difficulty for a breastfeeding Mum, as a matter of fact I despise people making life difficult for Mums in general. As I have said before, breast feed, bottle feed, feed your baby from a coconut cracked open by a monkey - it doesn't matter, as long as the baby is loved and well looked after. I don't actually know any babies fed from coconuts cracked open by monkeys but if you do, please let me know, I'd love to meet them and do a blog about their interesting parenting techniques.
So... what was my comeback for the not so nice Bridal Assistant?
I took the assistants reluctant 'well I suppose so' as my cue to get my boobs out. I settled in to their lovely comfy couch in their fancy bridal boutique, fed Kayde, far more openly (exposed) than required, popped him back in his stroller and promptly walked out without another word. No trying on dresses and certainly no spending any money, yes, maybe I should have had a little walk while burping him with his head tilted toward some of the more expensive frocks, in the hope of a little regurgitation, but clearly I was feeling 'nice' that day.
What's your favourite 'feeding' comeback?
HA! Some great comebacks there. I really HAD to breastfeed everywhere, especially with my fourth... or he would never had eaten. I was always respectful of others though and used a cover. The most nasty looks I got were actually from older ladies... You would think perhaps they would have some more empathy.
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