Lesson Learnt

Sometimes we are good parents and sometimes we leave a bit to be desired. I don't think it is just me who occasionally thinks - 'geez, I was way off on that one'. Or, 'I really should stop doing whatever menial task I am doing and play a game with the kids' or 'Oh, crap, timeout was over AGES ago... better go and tell them it's over'. But it is a rare time in our house to find both parents guilty of being in the wrong at exactly the same time over discipline, we are generally supportive of each other but quick to point out if the other is overreacting.
It was an ordinary evening this week when Jaz was pottering in the kitchen and Craig and I had both asked her to come and get ready for bed, she kept telling us to hang on because she was busy, she would then huff a big exhale (she gets that one from me) and would continue pottering. This went on for some time as both parents voices became more and more agitated to the point where I yelled from the other end of the house telling Jaz to do as her Dad was telling her. It was then that I heard a very remorseful Craig apologise to Jaz, I heard him say he hadn't realised what it was she was doing and she could finish if she liked and then get ready for bed. Hmmm I thought to myself, wonder what that's about?
Craig came down to the bedroom looking like only a smitten Daddy can and told me what he had found Jaz in the kitchen doing...
During the day I had done the grocery shopping and in my haste to do whatever I had felt the need to do I had left two bags of pantry bound goods in their plastic bags on the floor. Jaz had found them and was one by one removing them from the shopping bag, looking them over, exclaiming 'ooohhh you look yummy, I think you can go there' as she placed the item as high up as she could reach into the pantry. The adorable little poppet had picked up where I had slacked off and both parents were telling her off, true she should have followed our instructions but we weren't listening to her either.
It just goes to show that as parents we know we are fallible but sometimes we just don't realise what we miss when we make assumptions about our children's behaviour. We had both assumed Jaz was just being belligerent but in fact she was trying to do something helpful. It is these moments of misunderstanding thrust upon us as children that happen to stick in our minds as grown ups. The times when we felt misunderstood and a bit hard done by.
I have been making an effort from that day to understand Jazs motives before letting things get the better of me and raising my voice or issuing a timeout and already there have been so many times I have learnt a piece of information that changed the course of the day and my attitude. Something simple like allowing Jaz to explain that the reason she hadn't done something we asked her to do was because she didn't know how to do it or finding that she had in fact done something naughty on purpose to get my attention! (She still hasn't learnt to lie - bless). Taking the time to listen really does pay off.