Parenting the Pre-schooler

I have been a little absent over the past few days. I have been busy working out how on earth to deal with Jaz's new found rebellious streak! During this time I have had two completely separate issues to deal with... How to deal with Jaz and how to maintain my own sanity.


With Craig having worked away from home a bit lately Jaz has been showing some signs of being quite put out. She has been behaving in ways that are just not her. On a normal day Jaz would not scribble on the walls in bright blue texta, draw on the floors with bright blue texta, colour in her 'My little ponies' bright blue, are you seeing a theme yet? I realise that for many pre-schoolers and toddlers that behavious like this iss quite common but I am lucky enough to have an exceptionally well behaved little person as a general rule (sickening I know but I am fully aware of just how lucky I am).

It is not only this artistic streak theat confounded me. When I saw her doing it I realised she was very intently watching me for a reaction. She had been baiting me for days and clearly hadn't gotten the reaction she was looking for. I tried, I really tried to maintain a calm voice and I told her to get to her room for a time out.


Her response completely dumb founded me: In the sweetest yet most smart alleccy voice imaginable - "I know... how about YOU go to YOUR room".

So I yelled. And of course I regretted it.

I knew she was hurting, she was not understanding why Daddy kept going away (and I am sure I have discussed before how much of a Daddy's girl she is) and no matter how hard I tried to explain that he was just away for one more day she didn't seem to believe me. And then she looked up at me with Sad eyes and said "you no need to yell at me. Jaz is sad, why you yell at me?" Ugh! I felt dreadful.

But in the same breath I cannot condone her behaviors of late and certainly not the attitude so I turned to the internet, looking for better ways to deal with behavioural problems when you don't want to become a screaming banshee of a mother whose incessant ranting and raving does nothing but confuse and frustrate their pre-schooler and I came across these handy hints and tips:

* When talking to little people they can become fidgety and seem to not pay attention. To overcome this try getting down on their level and holding their hands while talking with them. Craig and I have tried this over the last few days with great success.

* We all know the importance of consistency but it is often easier said than done when we are tired and worn out and frustrated. Try making a chart of which behaviours are causing you the most angst and what action you will take if and when they come up, be it a time out or a privilege being revoked etc and stick to it.

* Another one that can be easy to forget when you are feeling frustrated is to praise praise praise. When things are going right give plenty of praise. Make sure that your pre-schooler gets an abundance of positive attention and even if you feel they are constantly misbehaving start looking for things to praise. Soon enough they will start trying to do more and more to get that praise.

* When all else fails - distract! Plan an activity, start dancing, singing, whatever it takes to move them from the negative behaviour to the positive and then go onto the praise. Praise that they participated. Praise that they spent time behaving and tell them how much you love spending nice time with them

After implementing all of these techniques and also having Daddy back home I am happy to say for the most part I have hadd my beautiful, well behaved, sweet little girl back. Though she still wants Craig and I to do absolutely everything for her!


So the second aspect of the last few days was endeavouring to maintain my own sanity. Having a three year old demanding my full attention by behaving badly and wanting negative attention just to keep me focused on her and having a 6 month old with a headcold who is teething and feeling utterly miserable has not left me with much time to take care of myself physically or emotionally and left me feeling deprived of sanity. I can just about feel all you other mummy's nodding along with me. I am now, however, feeling relatively refreshed and revitalised and will happily share with you a couple of easy peesy ways to regain just a little of your sanity.

* Many people say sleep when they sleep. Don't!!!! Well, do get sleep but stay up for even just an hour and spend that hour doing something just for you. that might be watching your favourite TV show, read a few chapters of a good book or dance to some crazy music. You could even establish a blog in that time.

* Download a good visualisation track from itunes podcasts, they are free in the 'self help' section. (I know this sounds kinda weird and dippy but it really does help relax you). Once downloaded, listen to it just before going to bed, it will help you relax, feel more positive and energized for the next day and help you get quality sleep.

* Take the time to have a nice hot shower where you are not rushed (even wait till a friend comes over and get them to watch the kids, if they have their own they will understand). Then really take care of yourself, shave your legs, condition your hair, exfoliate - the works. You will feel like a new woman when you emerge. Take the time to style your hair and put on whatever makeup you feel comfortable in or moisturise and massage your body before dressing and re-emerging to rescue your friend from the little fiends feeling and looking completely revitalised.

* Finally, call your best friend and talk until you can talk no more, let the kids run riot or, if they will oblige, let them watch a movie (don't feel guilty, a sane Mum is a good Mum) while you natter away to your hearts content.

Tomorrow I am starting fresh. I hereby declare I will not be a screaming banshee mummy and I will offer a lot of praise and maintain a happy vibe in the house. I will stay sane and well, I'll be the best Mum I can be. After all, isn't that what we all strive for?